I'm Always With You
by Trickster God Loki
Summary: There are somethings that are painful to say. Fem!Ash/Gary, mention of OlderBrother!Red. Rated T for self-harm and near-death.


**I'm Always With You**

**By: Loki**

**Disclaimer: I wanted to try something new out. I don't own Pokemon.**  
**  
Enjoy.**

* * *

"You what?" a confused Gary Oak asked as he looked at the white bindings on the other's chest. Those weren't supposed to be there... right? "Please tell me you're lying Ash."

The raven-haired looked up at Gary, blinking with soft brown eyes. "Why? Is it a big deal that I'm not what you thi-thought I was?" Ash's voice slowly cracking.

Gary looked at the bindings and then back to Ash's face. "How long have you..?" he trailed off.

"Since I was seven." Ash replied, "I was seven when Father left me to become the man of the house and protect Kaa-chan since Aniki died." Ash weakly smiled as Gary blinked with confused green orbs. It really had been a long time since Red died, hadn't it?

"So, you've been lying to me, all of Kanto, just because you told your dad you'd protect your mom? Ash.. That's stupid." Gary shook his head. "You idiot. Don't promise things like that."

"I had to become a boy to make Kaa-chan love me." Ash smiled. "I'm sorry Gary.. My full name is Ashley Ketchum. I wasn't lying to you about my name... You just thought I was a boy all of these years."

Well, to explain... Ash Ketchum, now seventeen, was laying on Gary Oak's bed, with a very confused Gary Oak hovering above her. She and Gary had been going out for a good year now, and Gary wanted to know why Ash had only insisted on handjobs and blowjobs for their sexlife until now. Gary Oak had found out that Ash Ketchum was infact a girl.

"Ash, that doesn't justify..." he shook his head, "You made me believe I was gay for years! Do you know how embarressing it is to know that it's all been a lie?"  
Ash stared. "I'm sorry! Please!" she began to sob. "I didn't mean for you to get hurt! I only thought.." she sniffled, "thought that you were joking with me!" She sobbed out.

Gary was furious. He had always been honest about his sexuality, his past, and his whole being with Ash. Now, he felt like he was living a lie with a total stranger.

"Ash, I'd never lie to you... If that's your real name."

The raven-haired teen's heart dropped to her stomach. "Gary.. Please no.." she begged.

"Give me three reasons."

Ash fumbled a little and held up a finger. "One, we grew up together. Two we were once rivals, so we know everything there is to know about eachother. Three, I never lied to you about anything... Except for my gender.. I really do love sleeping beside you. I physically ache when we have to seperate for long periods of time." she sobbed, "I-If Aniki suvived his journey to the mountain, he would be able to tell you that I never once lied to you."

Gary thought that maybe if Ash really were honest about everything else, he would let that go.. Ash Ketchum was the only girl Gary would ever love. "Go home Ash." Gary said as she quickly pulled the black t-shirt back over her chest. "I'm sorry.. I really am." she mumbled before darting out of Gary's room and out of the Oak residence completely.

* * *

Gary went downstairs and grabbed a snack from the fridge to be reprimanded by his grandfather.

"What happened?" the professor asked, "Ash just ran by, crying his eyes out."

"Grandpa, Ash is a girl." Gary corrected, taking a small bite out of the half-eaten bagel from that morning.

"Ah, yes. I spoke with Ash's mother about that.." he nodded. "After Deliah's husband left, Red had recently died up on Mt. Silver, yes? Well, Ashley wanted to help her mother by trying to become like Red and follow in his footsteps. She changed her name when she was only seven to just Ash, succeeded in everything Red had done and some more, all while hiding what, not who, she really was. She let her real personality be put on display for the whole world. Give her credit."

* * *

Perhaps... there a couple of advantages of having a crossdressing girlfriend.. And really, Gary shouldn't base his whole sexuality on one terrible night with a cheerleader when he was only fourteen.

"Thanks Gramps." he said, eating the last of the bagel and heading of of the door. "I'm going to apologize to her."

* * *

_Meanwhile at the Ketchum residence:_

"Dammit Gary!" Ash yelled as she pulled out the folded up socks she had in the crotch of her boxershorts and threw them at the wall. Sigh... She felt much, much cooler down there already. She ripped off the binding on her chest and tossed it again the dresser.

Her chest hurt. Her chest ached so bad. When was the last time she even took those things off?! So, her chest hurt both emotionally and physically... Ash curled up in bed, wishing she could just die right now.

Desperate for relief, she entered the bathroom and snapped off the head from a razor blade, seperating the blades, pressing it deep into her wrist... then someone came up to her room.

Ga-Gary?!

Ash stayed silent, not thinking about her wrist or how deep she might have cut in. She wanted him to go away and that was it.

Red. Gary saw deep red from the corner of his eye. A soft thud came from inside the bathroom as Gary checked it out. Ash was collapsed on the floor with a razor in her fingers, blood pooling from one of her wrists.

* * *

Hm?  
Why did it smell like disinfectant?  
What in the...  
So white...

* * *

Ash woke up in a white room. "Hea..ven?" she muttered weakly, looking to the side to see Gary sleeping on a chair.. This wasn't Heaven then. Especially when he wouldn't take her back.

Gary stirred and looked at Ash. ..And smiled. Misty was there too. "I can't believe it, Ash. You're really a girl?" the red-head asked. "No wonder you didn't return my crush."

Ash nodded slowly. She still felt so sleepy... "What happened?"

"You cut yourself and Gary rushed you to the hospital." Misty answered.

Gary cleared his throat. "Can I get a moment?" he asked as Misty giggled and left.

"Gary, I-" Ash was about to start as Gary kissed her.

"Don't. I want to.. try again with you." he smiled, fighting a little for the right words. "And that wrist of yours is our constant reminder that I will always be with you... Because I gave you my blood."

Ash to admit, it was a little creepy, but teared up all the same while Gary wiped the forming droplets away. "I want to get to know this side of you... Ashley." he said, "I will stay with you forever and always."

"Then.. Maybe when I'm all healed up, maybe we can play doctor..?" Ash suggested.

Gary smiled. "Sounds fun. Count me in." he chuckled, leaning in to kiss Ash on the neck, when he saw her staring. They looked at the curtain when someone made a gag sound.

Ash laughed lightly. Misty. She'd never change.

At least the mystery of why Ash never was attracted to any women on her Pokemon Challenge, was that Ash Ketchum was, infact, a straight girl. And as long as she lived, she would follow Gary Oak, the man who saved her life.

~END

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**A/N: I might end it here, but if you guys want me to continue through drabbles, review and let me know! I really enjoyed writing Fem!Ash. Also, let me know if you liked the idea of Red being Ash's older brother.**  
**I love Pokemon and I think I found my muse.**  
**But seriously. Please leave a comment saying "Continue", or "I like this". I feel like I wasted time on you if you don't and I get very nervous.**

**Thank you,**  
**Loki**


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